Jealousy, guilt and secrets
by kaymacx
Summary: When Rose is just fed up of all her problems, her worst fear becomes a reality-Dimitri is leaving for Tasha. Rose, hurt and conflicted has no idea what to do and is left confused and heartbroken. Set in frostbite or around then. (Rated T for swearing) Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY! First fanfic! R
1. Introduction

**Jealousy, guilt and secrets**

**Hi guys! So this is my first story. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!**

RPOV

I woke up depressed. Lissa had managed to interrupt my dreams with her sex life. AGAIN. I couldn't remember what my dream had been about, something to do with the beach.

I was jealous. I admit it. I was soooo jealous of Lissa. Lissa and her perfect relationship with Christian. I was jealous of her _having _a sex life to interrupt my dreaams. I was jealous of her freedom to do whatever the hell she wanted to. I tried to get back to sleep that night but I cound't. I had started thinking, I couldn't stop. I kept on thinking about Lissa for a lttle while longer, but then thoughts of Lissa left my mind, as a new person entered my head; |Dimitri. I didn't forget about him so easily. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Him and me. Him and Tashsa. I threw up my arms in exhaustion while one word stuck in my head. Why? Why? Why? Why? An alarm clock ringing interrupted my endless train of thought. What? I had only been up for an hour or so. It couldn't be time for me to get when I checked the alarm clock, sure enough it was bang on 5am.

As I hauled myself out of bed to take a shower, only one thought was ringing in my mind. This was going to be a long day.

...

**Really short sorry! I just had to kinda introduce what was going on in the story. I promise the next one will be longer. Tell me what you think, constructive critiscm is always welcome! I hope you enjooyed and will post the next chapter soon! Thanks for reading! **

**-Kaymacx :-) xoxo **

**(P.S. I will be continuing this story, even if I have no reviews!)**


	2. The crappy day

**Chapter 2 **

**RPOV**

I was right. It was only 6am and my day already sucked.

As soon as I got to the gym I got a message from Dimtri saying he couldn't make our training session. He didn't say why but I had a feeling it had something to do with Tasha.

I went back to my room to get changed, only to find that I had no clean clothes, I raked around in my closet for something to wear, but all I found was a ridiciolously tight sweater. And not the good tight. I put it on and sighed. I had no trousers, so was forced to look through my laundry bag. Once I found a pair of skinny jeans that would be acceptable with some perfume I checked my clock. I still had over an hour before class. So I did what I always did when I was bored. I checked in on Lissa.

She was brushing her teeth and trying to wake up christian who'd spent the night. It was a lost cause as usual. So she ended up splashing cold water in his face.

As soon as they both had clothes on I was knocking at Lissa's door. I didn't bother waiting for a responce and walked in to see Lissa and christian listening to music on the bed.

"Liss. Pyro." I greeted them. Sarcasm from christian in 3..2..1.. "Rose. Always a pleasure." I saw Liss elbow him. I smirked.

"Why aren't you rushing back from practice right about now?" Liss asked. "Cancelled. Dimitri was busy so..." I shrugged.

"Yeah he was busy with Aunt Tasha." Christian said, waggling his eyebrows. He looked stupid.

"What are you talking about Sparky?" I asked him confused, as I sat down next to Liss.

"What, She didn't tell you?" He said pointing at Lissa. They were starting to worry me. Mostly because Christian was so smug.

"What is going on?" I asked.

"Belikov's doing something with aunt Tasha, then afterwords shes going to ask him to become her gaurdian, among other things." Christian did his ridiciolous eyebrow thing again. Wait. WHAT?! DIMITRI WAS LEAVING TO BECOME TASHA'S GAURDIAN? And what the hell did "Among other things" Mean? I felt my jaw drop.

"No way." I said slowly. No way was that true. No way. No way NO. WAY.

"Believe it. She's asking him later today if you don't believe me. Ask him yourself later." He replied snarkily. My jaw had dropped again.

"Rose are you ok?" Lissa asked sounding slightly worried. I suddenly remembered she was there and dragged my wide eyes off Christian.

I shook my head and forgot how to talk. I didn't even try to, and just like that I stormed out the room and slammed the door. Through the bond I felt worry from Lissa as she got off the bed and started to follow me. Christian did the same. I broke in to a sprint and I didn't even know where I was going.

"Rose what's wrong?" Lissa asked through the bond. I ignored her.

I picked up the pace and found myself in the deserted running feilds. Lissa was still relatively far behind me as neither her or Christian were very fast runners. But I didn't I didn't care. Liss wouldn't give up so I ran back to my room as fast as I could and I locked the door. I checked where they were. The clever idiots had split up. Christian was in the dhampir dorms. Damnit. If they knew where I was they wouldn't leave...Until classes started.

I slid down my door and started thinking..Then realization hit me like a slap in the face. Dimitri was leaving. Leaving the school. Leaving Lissa. Leaving_ me._ And all for Tasha. Tasha. Why Tasha? What was so special about her? What could she do that I...I cut myself off as realization Dawned. A child. She could give him a child. She could give him a real relationship. She could give him a family. A tear escaped my eye as I felt someone bang on my door.

"Rose? It's Christian open up!" He said pounding his fist against the door. I didn't bother replying.

"ROSE! What's going on?" Then I felt Lissa come up next him.

She banged on my door too but not nearly as hard as Christian had.

"Rose. Are you ok? Let us in. Tell us what's going on. Please?" I was about to speak when my eyes flicked to the clock. They were already late for class.

"Go." I whispered. Realizing the didn't hear me, I said it louder "GO. You're late for class."

"Ros-" "GO"

At first Lissa stayed put, but then Christian silently told her there was nothing she could do. She thought about it. Eventually she nodded, knowing that if I didn't want to see anyone. I wouldn't.

"I'll be back. I promise." she whispered. Once I heard the sound of footsteps and was 100% sure they were gone, I let out a few tears but I wouldn't let it all out. I wouldn't cry and fall on to my bed and hole up like some teenage girl who was upset about their crush liking someone else. No. That was not who I was. I was Rose Hathaway. Strong, confident, fearless Rose Hathaway. No way was one guy gonna do this to me. No way.

I got changed into my workout clothes from this morning. I didn't go to class though. I went to the field that was always deserted. The only people that were ever there were me and Dimitri.

I was right, the feild was empty. I started running, not bothering to stretch first. I ran fast and hard and I didn't give up. I put all my anger into those laps. When I stopped I realized something. I had just done almost 200 laps. And I spent under an hour doing them. Panting, I started heading for my dorm when I saw two figures in my path. And one was a very tall, very pissed Russian. Yep this was a crappy day alright.

...

**Hey! So Chapter 2 up! So I saw that I had alot of views so I just wanted to thank you all! As I promised, this one was alot longer. I hope you enjoyed it! This time I want 2 reviews to continue my story pleeeeaaaasssee! Thanks guys! **

**-Kaymacx :-) xoxo**


	3. The tour

**Chapter 3 **

**DPOV **

I texted Rose telling her I couldn't make our trainnig session. I felt bad because she was probably already at the gym, but it was only one day, she probably didn't even care. Tasha wanted me to show her around because despite being here before, and this being her 3rd week living at the academy, she still claimed she didn't properly know her way around.

I Pulled on a shirt and a pair of jeans, tied my hair into a short ponytail and headed towards Tasha's cabin.

I only had to knock once before she opened the door. Her hair was in a ponytail too, fully revealing the awful scar, left by her siblings years ago.

She smiled when she saw me. "Dimka!" She squealed and pulled me into a hug, catching me off guard. I eventually hugged back.

"Hi, Tasha," I said pulling back. "Are you ready?" She nodded eagerly and stepped out of the cabin, and locked the door behind her.

"I just wanted to thank you for doing this Dimka." she said with a tilt of her head.

"Eerm..no problem..." I answered.

"And afterwords maybe we could get some lunch, and...talk." She said as a smile crossed her face and she winked.

"Yeah...ok...I guess.." I gave a nervous chuckle. I always knew Tasha had a kind of crush on me, but she didn't usually make it this obvious.

She laughed. "Oh relax Dimka! I was only joking." she said as she placed a hand on my chest. I smiled politely and took her hand off me. Her smile faded slightly and she turned around.

"so, shall we go?" She asked her smile returning, but smaller.

"Yes. Definitely." I said with a small smile of my own.

We left the woods and went towards moroi dorms, then dhampir, then the gym, then the rest of the school. It took quite a while, and by the time we finished our tour, it was almost one `o` clock.

"So...lunch?" She asked hopefully.

"Sure. We'll go to the cafeteria." I replied and she smiled.

We walked back in silence. It was normal until Ifelt her hand trying to grasp mine. I pulled away by scratching my neck and putting my hand into my pocket. I could tell this annoyed her, but she really had to understand. I didn't like her like that. Sure I absolutely adored her as a friend, but romatically? No. Why? For alot of reasons. Rose was one of them. My gaurdian duties were another.

"What's wrong Dimka?" She asked, rubbing her hand up and down my arm.

"Nothing." I replied in my gaurdian voice. I tried to shake her hand off me, but she ignored it. I sighed quietly and we continued walking.

We were making our way towards the cafeteria, when I saw a short, dark-haired dhampir in a training outfit walking from the running field to the dhampir dorms. I was going to walk over to her and tell her she should have been in class, but when she got closer, I saw it was Rose. I walked over to her, an annoyed expression on my face. For a split second, I saw a look of agony on her face. Then she looked over to Tahsa. She looked at Her with...what? Envy? Hatred? Probably both. And me with a typical I`m-Rose-Hathaway-And-I-don't-care look. I sighed and walked over to her. She looked at me and turned in the other direction.

She didn't run, she just walked away casually. I rolled my eyes and jogged up to her. Why? Why couldn't she just follow the rules? Why did I have to mentor Rose Hathaway? And Why, why? Why? Why? Did Tasha have to like me?

...

**Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed! I know it was a short chapter I'm sorry. Could I ask for three reviews as thats how many I got for my first 2 chapters? I just wanted to thank all my readers and reviewers, I appreciate your support. Already working on my next chapter which will return to RPOV. Once again thank you to all of you! **

**-Kaymacx xoxo :-)**


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE! NOT NEW CHPT!

**AN:**

Hey guys, soooooooo sorry for not updating! I was working on chapter 4 when my computor crashed and ereased the document! :,-( I will try to do another chapter, remembering what I wrote down. Again sooooo sorry, and I PROMISE there will be a new chapter up by Saturday! Once again, soz.

-kaymacx xoxo :-(


	5. Confrontation

**Chapter 4 **

**RPOV**

I saw him and Tasha walking towards me. Seeing him made my chest ache. My amazing, brilliant, passionate, Russian god was leaving. Then my eyes went over to her. Tasha.I gave her a look of digust. I kind of felt bad. It wasn't really her fault. So then instead of acting like a heartbroken teenager I put on my Rose-Hathaway look. Then I did a Rose-Hathaway move. I turned around and walked away. Dimitri jogged up to me.

He grabbed my shoulder and tried to turn me around. I ignored him. "ROSE!" He shouted. I decided to face him.

"What?" I asked with venom in my voice.

He looked slightly, hurt and confused at my tone. But his gaurdian mask slammed into place a milli-second later. He wasn't my russian god anymore. He was just my hard-ass mentor now. And soon he wasn't even going to be that anymore.

"Why are you here?" He asked. I could tell I wasn't the only one that was pissing him off.

"Well when my dad got my mom-"

"Shut it." He cut me off. "You should be in class, and you know it." He replied sternly.

I snorted. "Whatever" I snarled and walked away. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"What is wrong with you? This is completely reckless, stupid and selfish. Of course that's not a new thing for you. I'll drag you back to your class if I have to. I'm your mentor. Not your friend, and whatever you do, goes straight back to me. How does it look when you're skipping out on classes?" He asked. I bit my lower lip to restrain myself from saying something I would regret. When I didn't reply, he continued.

"So why are you here instead of in class?" He asked through gritted teeth. I knew he was over-reacting.

"So why are you here instead of at practise?" I replied evenly.

"I was busy. Now answer my question." His tone was dangerous.

"Well so am I." I replied coldly,

Tasha had walked up when Dimitri did. I hadn't really noticed her until now. She looked slightly uncomfortable, I didn't know if it was me, but I was pretty sure I could see some smugness in her face. I was done. They could ride off into the sunset together for all I care. I gave Tasha a look of hatred, and Dimitri one of longing, and then my classic pissed-off look.

"You know, since there won't be many more training sessions, you might want to put in some extra ones." I said, looking at Tasha. Dimitri frowned in confusion.

"What are you-" I cut him off by smirking at Tasha before walking away, with a toss of my hair.

"Sorry if I ruined the surprise Tasha!" I called over my shoulder with an evil smile.

...

I walked back to my room to see that lunch was in twenty minutes. I realized I hadn't eaten anything since I woke up. I didn't want to. I felt sick to my stomach now. I collapsed onto my bed. Why did I have to fall in love with my mentor? Why was my life so fucked up?

I sighed and looked at one of the few (three to be exact) photes on my wall. It was a picture of me and Lissa at one of the biggest parties I had ever been to and probably ever will. I lost track of how many guys I made out with, all I knew was that it was over twenty. Then I decided something. I was seventeen. I was young and hot. And I was far too young to fall in love. It was just a crush. A stupid, teenage crush.

I put on my most revealing clothes, which was a loose, black belly top, some studded, denim short shorts and black satin heels. I put on some dark make-up, a necklace and a bracelet. I looked H-O-T hot, if I do say so myself.

I checked my alarm. Lunch started five minutes ago. I walked out of my room and I was thankful I didn't run into any teachers or gaurdians on my way there. I knew it would land me in Kirova's office. I walked through to the cafeteria. It was like every single set of eyes in the cafeteria were on me. I couldn't help but smile, when I pictured Dimitri's face. NO. I couldn't think about Dimitri right now. I saw Eddie, Liss, Christian, Mia and Mason sitting together. I strolled over, hearing wolf whistles, and seeing guys winking at me. Most of the group turned around to see what all the fuss was about. I saw Lissa smirk and roll her eyes. Christian smirked as well but for different reasons. Mia shook her head slightly, but still smiled, Eddie laughed and joined the guys wolf whistling. Mason's whole face lit up with glee. I strolled over to the guys, but Lissa got up and came over to me.

"Hey" She said.

"Hey" I replied smiling.

"What happened this morning? I mean, why did you kinda, you know, freak out?" She asked. I knew she didn't mean to but she was really kinda annoying me. I was trying to forget Dimitri, and she was not helping.

"It dosen't matter Liss. I'm good now. So come on." I said walking over to the group.

"What. The. Hell. Is all I have to say." Said Christian. I slapped him on his arm playfully.

"Just listen. There's an old cabin out in the woods that's deserted. I was thinkning, we could go out, and have a little...gathering shall we say." I attempted to raise one eyebrow, which I half pulled off.

Christian looked towards Lissa, Eddie looked towards Mia, and a grinning Mason looked towards me.

"We're in." Said Christian and Mia at the same time.

"Ok, I guess..." Said Liss. She was worried about her homework assignment from Stan. Nerd.

"Definitely." Said Mason, still grinning from ear to ear.

"Sure." Eddie said simply.

"Great. Meet there at about 30 minutes after curfew."

They all shrugged and nodded.

"I'm gonna go, I'll catch you guys later." I said giving them a huge smile.

They said their good-byes and went back to eating. I was heading for the cafeteria door when I saw Dimitri entering through it.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath. I headed out the other door, hoping he hadn't seen me. He would lose it if he saw that I hadn't gone to class. I had no doubt he would find out about it anyway, but I needed time away from him. Plus, he would have been twice as bad if he saw me with this on. I made a B-line for my room. I waited for a few minutes to check if he had seen me. Nope. I re-applied my make-up and got ready for the par-..gathering. This was going to be one hell of a night.

...

**Helloooo my faithful readers! Well, there's a few things I want to say. **

**I'm sorry it's been so long.**

**I will not be updating as regularly as I did before, because this is my last term at school, and I have to really work hard.**

**I wanted to thank Izziabellia Ozera, for all her help with this story. She is a great writer. I would encourage you to read her stories: Join the dots, and Surviving the night: life after death. Thank you so much Izzy, you have inspired me! **

**Since it took me ages to update I will accept 2 reviews. Thanks guys!**


	6. Chapter 6

Hi guys,

I'm sooooooooooo soooooooo sooooooo so sorry about not updating, my laptop is broken and it costs too much to fix it so I'm on my sisters laptop so i can't post another chapter as she needs it for college. I'm really sorry I will continue this story I promise, but it might take a while. My birthday is coming up really soon so I'll ask for a l;aptop, so if your lucky, there will be an update by about June 10th? Maybe. Again sooooooo sorry to disappoint.

-Kaymacx xoxo

(P.S. thank you sooo much for the reviews.)


	7. Chapter 7

Hi guys, I know you were excited about this new chapter and I said that I would update on the 10th of June, but what I did not expect was to get 4 research tasks for school, to go on holiday, and to have my cat die :,(. I'm so so so sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry, but I'm going to have to postpone the update to the 25th, but this time I swear on my life, I will update. I promise I have not abandoned this story. Thank you for understtanding.

-Kaymacx :-) xxx


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